Fear Based Decisions

Sorry to be gone for so long, I needed some time off to consider the options that I have had in front of me. That led me to write on this topic.

Personally for me, I had to think back a few years, that was the time when I made a fear based decision that set me on this path. Can't say that it didn't do me good, for I did learn many things along this path. But then it might not have been the best path for me.

I made the decision to work on a business full time, whenever I have had the chance. Well, that doesn't sound to bad does it? But to achieve that, I had to sacrifice other things, things like being able to build a good resume, or gather enough experience in a particular field.

Well it was only recently, that I realised that my decision has led me to work on things that I do not have any passion for. For one, I'm not one who is passionate about making money, and my other alternative of making money would be to do what I am really passionate about. I disgress...

So for so many years, I have started and I have stopped working on projects, and I do not even know why. Thinking that it might just be due to the fact that I got bored of it and needed something new. Which I believe, most people would dread going through their career doing the same things over and over again, in a monotonous fashion.

But when I think back now, it all started to make sense to me, in the sense that it was that I was not truly passionate about these projects, and the only reason why I was able to work on them in the first place, was because they are something fresh and challenging to do.

I don't know about you, whether you have had made a fear-based decision in your life before. For me, it felt like if I didn't make the decision that I made then, I would have lost the only opportunity to make it as an entrepreneur.

Its never too late to step back from a fear-based decision. Identify what you truly want to do in life, pursue it. But not at the expense of those you love.

Wishing you success in life.

What do you gain or loss by asking?

As a child, we only knew that if there is anything that we wanted, we had to just ask for it. However, simply asking for it does not necessarily gaurantee us that thing. Yet, we still went ahead to ask for it.

As times goes by and as the number of rejections build up, we build in ourselves this fear that stops us from asking for what we truly want. Afraid of what others might think of us, or just afraid of being rejected by other.

I have to admit that I used to be such, afraid to ask for anything at all, afraid of the rejection that I might receive. Afraid of what others would be thinking of me. Always running the worst case scenario in my mind. Then as you can expect it, even before I have had garnered the courage to open my mouth to ask, I would have had talked myself out of asking. Thus, leaving my query unanswered or my demands unheard.

I believe I am not the only one who encounter this shyness about making your query or demands known. I have heard friends converse about how they would have like to asked their boss for a pay raise, or if there was a sponsorship program available for them to further their studies. But because they assume that the economy is doing badly now or that there is no information for a sponsorship program on the intranet, that the company or their boss would not agree to their request. Thus, being rejected in the process, and maybe even earn yourself 'close supervision' because of your request.

Yet, the simple act of asking, can set your mind at peace, for you will know the answer and the truth, without having to speculate the best and the worst. You will know for sure, the outcome, whether its a 'Yes' or 'No'.

One simple thing that might be able to help you out the next time you have the desire to ask for something.

When you have made your request to someone, if the person replies, 'No', know that you are still in the position which you were in before you made your request. Therefore, in fact you did not gain or did you lose anything.

However, on the other hand, if the person replies, 'Yes', then you would have your requested granted and would have gained something by just asking for it.

Now, tell me, is there anything else in this world that can allow you to either 'Win' something or not 'Lose' anything at all, when you act on it?

I know there may be other factors that you are considering, such as 'What would my boss think of me for asking a pay raise?'

Well one think is for sure is that, if you are a performing employee, then how else would he think? If you are a boss, and you have a performing employee who ask you for a pay raise, what would you do?

Off the bat, I can think of 2 options,
1. I can offer a pay raise.
2. If the company isn't doing very well, then I can only be transparent and explain it to him/her.

Wouldn't you want to keep a performing employee?

If you are still afraid of asking for whatever reasons, put yourself in the shoes of the person you are going to talk to. Imagine being asked the same question. Expect the answers that you will get. At the very least, this would prepare for you for the possible outcomes.

Please share any of your comments that you might have about this topic.

Are You Afraid of Leaving Your Job?

You might have heard of friends who keeps complaining about their jobs and then tells you that they want to quit their job, but the next time you hear from them, they are still in the job that they dislike so much. Well I have heard this many times from my friends around me. But why does it happen?

Actually this might have happened to you as well. You might have the intention to leave a job that you do not like, whether its because of the future prospects of the job, or the lack thereof, or not being able to work with your colleagues or bosses. But yet, there is this feelings that is holding you back...

The feeling of losing what you have right now and moving into the unknown... How many times has this fear held you back and kept you at the same spot?

Well, lucky even, you are not the only one, in fact everyone has this fear. This fear arises when you are 'threatened' by the thought of losing what you have right now and the prospect is the future unknown. In short, its the fear of lose or the fear of the unknown.

We are pretty much wired for survival, so if things are working for us right now, and you are intending to take a path where you wouldn't know if your survivability is guaranteed, then this defense mechanism is going to start it work in keeping you alive.

In the current day and age where we no longer have to worry about making life and death decisions in a split second, this survival mechanism has in turn limited us more than it serves us. No doubt this mechanism still has its uses, but all I'm saying is that this fear has held us back from achieving our dreams and developing our full potential.

I know of a few ways to overcome such a fear:

1. Self-Confidence. In the example of leaving your job, its about having the confidence in your abilities that you will be able to land yourself another job that pays as well or even better.

2. Faith. Having faith and trusting that you will be able to land yourself another job is also one of the ways of overcoming this fear.

3. Knowing your Goals. The other way is to be clear of what you want in your life. Once you are clear, you would be able to see if what you are doing now is helping you to move towards your goals, and if it isn't, you will be more prepared to face your fears and start working on getting yourself in line with your goals.

These are some of the few ways that I know that can help to overcome fear. Whether its the fear of losing something important, the fear of the unknown or even the fear of moving out of yoru comfort zone.

It is only when you move out of your comfort zone, do you grow as a person.

If you know of other ways of overcoming your fears, please share it with me. The comments are open.

When did You Stop Learning?

For many people, studying and learning comes to a stop once they have completed their degrees or diplomas. Yet many things in life cannot be learned from school books or books teaching professional skills.

For one, I enjoy learning, its weird because I was never a good student when I was in school. None of the subjects was ever of an interest to me, and though they serve well as basic knowledge for conversations, they about as far as they went.

Personally I am more interested in the life skills that is not being taught to me in school. Financial skills, leadership skills, intutition, just to name a few.

I didn't know what would have sparked my desire for learning that continues even today and I'm sure into the future.

Perhaps it was the event where I was determine that I would start to develop my own game, the thought of being able to create something that I like so much. It was then that I started reading up on game development and today with my then partner, we were planning the roles.

It was also then that I realised that there was more to game development then just developing the software itself. You need a project manager, a marketing team and so on and so forth. I felt drawn towards the other roles more than I was to the development role.

So I believe that was the moment in time that sparked my continuous learning into the practical usage of marketing, planning, organising, and business development. Every turn there would be new information about these topics, and so the process continues.

Though you may not be consumed by such a desire for learning, but there are so much information out there, in the forms of books, videos and audio from people who have experienced events that you may be encountering right now and can shed some insights on how they handled just an event.

Our minds will continue to grow and we as a person will continue to improve with the new information that we have accured. just like how one would learn to fashionable by looking at fashion magazines and learning from it. That was of course a more superficial example.

If you are willingly to learn more, even if its about the one thing that you are most passionate about, it could be cooking, gardening or even soccer, you will never know when one day your knowledge on these subjects may come it useful.

So the question now is, 'Why did you stop learning?'

What is Gaming Addictive?

I happen to just read a very interesting article this morning, that talks about the length of a blog post doesn't make a difference to the readership but most importantly, the 'story' or content should be there. If you point can be made in just a few sentences, then it should be done that way. So i'm going to try out this new concept and try to keep my post short... and boy i always thought that I needed to write a hell a lot of words to make it look good.

Anyway back to the key topic of Gaming & Achievements. Ever wondered why games has always been a draw to guys? Whether its video games or sports. For one, I admit i'm a gamer, video gamer though. (never did like sweating, thats why I prefer to swim, where I can't feel myself sweating. heh) I guess it was online through my experience of being a gamer that I was able to identify why gaming has caused many people to spend endless hours on them, especially video games which include titles such as, World of Warcraft, Maple Story, such to name a couple.

Ever felt the rush of excitement and the sense of achievement when you finally manage to accomplish something that has been taking you the longest time to complete? That rush must have felt good right?

Thats what happens in gaming. The games have been designed and built in a way which allow the players to achieve this rush over and over again through the various challenges that they have set throughout the game.

Just as how we were made, biological the chemical released when we get this sense of achievement give us a natural high, thats why it can be very addictive, and the moment you go cold turkey, you will start to feel depressed, since you have already been constantly exposed to that high, you body is just not used to not having it.

And so if you are not able to properly use and focus the energy that you spend on gaming, to achieve the same level of success and achievement in your life, it will be difficult for you to stop gaming or quit being addicted to it.

And the factor that make gaming even more addictive for guys than for gals is that, as guys, it is our instinct to compete with each other and to be at the top of the food chain. Which is easily achieveable for many through competitive gaming. And if you are already on the top of the food chain, you will continue to do what is required of you to stay there. Thereby spending even more time on the game.

So are you just a casual gamer or are you already addicted to gaming but just haven't realised it yet?

What is Your Passion?

I'm sure you would have heard of this phrase often, "Do what you love and it will never feel like work." But I'm sure the thought of how could you do what you love and still earn enough to pay for your bills and your monthly expenses.

Lets say for example, that what you really love to do is to go to the gym. Now imagine this, you take a whole week off at work and while you are off, you go to the gym for the 8 hours that you otherwise would be at work. Hows that for enjoying what you love?

If you truly enjoy that experience, then I highly suggest that you take up a position at the gym, be it as a personal trainer or as an executive, and that would truly be doing what you love and you will definitely enjoy every single day.

However, for most of us, after the 2nd or 3rd day, we would be thinking of doing something else, getting out of the gym or might even form a phobia for gyms.

Over the weekend, I attended a seminar and I picked up two very important points. One of them being that for most of us, when we formulate our 'dream life' or 'dream day in our life', we formulate it out of the need to escape from what we are in right now. In other words, it does not mean that we truly love those activities but rather, its based on the things that we rather be doing than going to work, for example.

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How would you then be able to find out what you are truly passionate about?

Spend 5 - 10 minutes, sit down, relax and think back through all the activites that you have done, whether its work related or its recreation activity.

Remember how you felt when you were working on that activity. Was it frustration, wanting to get it over with, enjoyment or excitment? Identify those activities that you were enjoying yourself or feel excited about, and then imagine doing these activities every day for the whole week, as cited in the example above.

If you find that you can do that activity every day for the whole week, you can safely say that you can do that activity every day for the rest of your life. That is what you are really passionate about.
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The second thing I picked up during the seminar is that the every one's passion is different and not everyone is passionate about making money. Yes, I repeat, not everyone is passionate about making money. Well that came to a shock for me, but to say the truth, I'm not passionate about making money either. But the next thing that followed that was, to do what you are passionate about, do it well or scale it big and the money will come.

So there is two sides of the coin. If you are passionate about making money, then great, you have a head start on getting your dream life, and reaching your goals. But if you are not passionate about making money, like myself, then you have to identify what it is you are passionate about and going about to do that to the best of your ability, and the money will come, whether its through new clients or through a pay raise.