What do you gain or loss by asking?

As a child, we only knew that if there is anything that we wanted, we had to just ask for it. However, simply asking for it does not necessarily gaurantee us that thing. Yet, we still went ahead to ask for it.

As times goes by and as the number of rejections build up, we build in ourselves this fear that stops us from asking for what we truly want. Afraid of what others might think of us, or just afraid of being rejected by other.

I have to admit that I used to be such, afraid to ask for anything at all, afraid of the rejection that I might receive. Afraid of what others would be thinking of me. Always running the worst case scenario in my mind. Then as you can expect it, even before I have had garnered the courage to open my mouth to ask, I would have had talked myself out of asking. Thus, leaving my query unanswered or my demands unheard.

I believe I am not the only one who encounter this shyness about making your query or demands known. I have heard friends converse about how they would have like to asked their boss for a pay raise, or if there was a sponsorship program available for them to further their studies. But because they assume that the economy is doing badly now or that there is no information for a sponsorship program on the intranet, that the company or their boss would not agree to their request. Thus, being rejected in the process, and maybe even earn yourself 'close supervision' because of your request.

Yet, the simple act of asking, can set your mind at peace, for you will know the answer and the truth, without having to speculate the best and the worst. You will know for sure, the outcome, whether its a 'Yes' or 'No'.

One simple thing that might be able to help you out the next time you have the desire to ask for something.

When you have made your request to someone, if the person replies, 'No', know that you are still in the position which you were in before you made your request. Therefore, in fact you did not gain or did you lose anything.

However, on the other hand, if the person replies, 'Yes', then you would have your requested granted and would have gained something by just asking for it.

Now, tell me, is there anything else in this world that can allow you to either 'Win' something or not 'Lose' anything at all, when you act on it?

I know there may be other factors that you are considering, such as 'What would my boss think of me for asking a pay raise?'

Well one think is for sure is that, if you are a performing employee, then how else would he think? If you are a boss, and you have a performing employee who ask you for a pay raise, what would you do?

Off the bat, I can think of 2 options,
1. I can offer a pay raise.
2. If the company isn't doing very well, then I can only be transparent and explain it to him/her.

Wouldn't you want to keep a performing employee?

If you are still afraid of asking for whatever reasons, put yourself in the shoes of the person you are going to talk to. Imagine being asked the same question. Expect the answers that you will get. At the very least, this would prepare for you for the possible outcomes.

Please share any of your comments that you might have about this topic.